Seriously.. if ‘Technology’ was a living, breathing person.
When it breaks:
When I try to fix it:
When I have to use it for school work:
And when it finally decides to fucking work, and I get back to it from a long absence
“Owner of the most famous hill in the world”
My little chat with 02.
So, I recently got a new phone, and was a bit worried that my bill wasn’t updating as it should, so I took the matter up with 02 support. And almost died in the process.
Great. I’m glad I’m through to Gillian, if that is her real name. But I’m guessing it’s not. It’s probably Senita or Rakish or something. I’m sure that she will be able to help me in whatever I need done.
Well, that’s good. Thanks for that Gillian. I appreciate the fact you’ve decided you’ll be happy to help me.. hell, it’s not like you’re being paid for it or anything. Why yes, do go ahead and check THE THING I JUST ASKED YOU TO CHECK. You have my permission.
—
A while later, she tells me the thing that by now I am pulling my hair out over.
I know this. I don’t care about this. I want to know why two of my readings are different. If she read the chat properly she would have noticed that. Oh well, maybe it’s rakis- I mean Gillian’s first day on the job.
I KNOW HOW A FUCKING BILL WORKS. WHY ARE THE TWO READINGS DIFFERENT.
Well that’s a pile of shit, because my minutes update as I use them. It still doesn’t explain why.the.readings.are.different. By this point I was staring numbly at the floor.
You haven’t helped me with anything you fucking moron.
I had to reply like this. I’m british you see, can’t be rude. But rest assured there were things I wanted to say to her. Namely “Yes Gillian, I think you are a bastard. You can help me by giving me your supervisor’s number and personally begging him to fire you on the spot.”
Don’t say you’re welcome to me, that implies you’ve actually done me a serv-
Wait.
What.
Did she just ask me if there was anything else she could help me with.. twice? Let’s take a look at that.
OH MY FUCKING GOD. HOW DUMB ARE YOU. ARE YOU ACTUALLY A FUCKING ROBOT OR SOME SHIT?!
Ok, there are four things wrong with this last picture.
- You didn’t help me. You hindered me. I lost a whole five seconds of my life fantasising about going into your office, dragging you out by your collar and beating you over the head with my phone that you won’t help me with.
- It wasn’t great chatting with you, I think it gave me an ulcer.
- You just ruined my day you asshole.
- What, that’s it, you’re just going to leave, just like that?! So after not helping me, angering me and insulting me. You have just left me to wallow in my own self pity and desperation.
I love technology.
